The New Chapter

I thought about calling this chapter of my life the Epilogue, but it sounds so... I don't know--final.  While it seems fitting based on my age and so on, I didn't much like the sound of it.  I'm not creating this blog to be full of amazing, insightful, thoughtful writing.  I created it as more of a chronicle.  For some reason, I feel every time I make some sort of major change in my life I need a new blog.  Kind of an "in with the new, out with the old" kind of thing I guess.  It's a signal that it's underway.  As to why I feel the world needs to know--I guess it's just something I do.  It's kinda weird considering how much I hate to share on Facebook...

Most of us were raised to believe that everyone is destined to be paired off with a mate.  A mate for life.  It was all around us when we were growing up.  At least in my era it was.  I have been on my own more years than I have been married, and I have come to the realization that marriage is not for me.  I married two completely different women, for two completely different reasons, and at two completely different periods of my life.  In both instances the end result was the same: I ended up unhappy and wondering how I got there and if I could (or should) continue.  In both instances the common denominator (besides myself) was that we were both needy.  In both instances, we chose each other for what we thought was love, but it was not.  While there was certainly love and respect in both marriages, it was not the deep love that should have been there--a requirement for longevity.  In both of my marriages I have had tons of really great memories and experiences, and they both helped shaped me to be who I am.

I'm not an unhappy man, but I am apparently somewhat confused.  I guess I sometimes think everything we do or everyone we become should have a purpose, reason, or direction instead of floating aimlessly through life.  Then I think maybe my place in life is to do exactly that--float aimlessly.  Maybe my blogs, my stories, and my poems are my purpose--however insignificant they are.

The bottom line:  I'm again single and living on my own, and I guess I'm again writing about it.