I'm not a good-enough writer to convey the anxiety that has washed over me so many times in the last couple of weeks.
When you put your mind in gear and start saving money it's a discipline. It's something you have to start paying attention to. You have to constantly be aware of it. It becomes a decision-making tool, challenging you to examine your financial priorities during your daily activities. "Do I really need that, or do I just want it?" You have to ask yourself those sorts of questions all the time. Every time you have a success talking yourself out of a purchase it's a small victory.
After a while it becomes almost like a collection. You start to treasure it and monitor it, and you do a little mental happy dance every time the 4th digit from the right clicks over a new number, knowing that your collection is getting bigger and more impressive. You might even become proud of your collection.
Then it backs off a notch, becoming more of a background thing--a kind of comfort zone or mental safety net. It adds a level of self-assurance to your life, knowing that anything short term can happen to you and you've got it covered.
Now it's all going away at once in the name of the home-buying process. While I'm beginning to get over it, I was a nervous wreck at first. What 60 year-old buys his first (well, it's my first solo...) home? Is that even smart? Given the interest rates these days, I'm going for it.
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